I am in pain, nobody understands me. Too bad the very person who understands me and accepts me for who I am no longer exists in this world. My grandmother, she is my ally, my bestfriend, my cconfidant. During this lowest time of my life, I need her, but it seems all I have is her memory.
I just told somebody yesterday, that it is better to be respected than feared. Because when someone just fear you, there is no love there. You do not see the goodness in the person being feared. You cannot appreciate every small gesture that, that person is doing (and so that person thinks).
I find it very difficult to defend myself, especially if nobody believes in me. Or stated differently, the very person whom you expect to be at your side is the very person putting you down. I am tired...
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